Dunno if you caught my message on your Ficton's talk page, but your fiction needs to be retconned. Like, lower the tier, maybe rethink it a little. Try going on IRC and talk to people, too. Its good to get feedback on your fiction.
I did, its a good start, don't get me wrong. But, it still needs a lot of work. Its mostly fleshing it out. Like, what's there government? Who rules it? What's its history? Armed forces? That sort of stuff.
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